Managing Autism - A Personal View

It is often difficult for ‘typical’ people to really understand what autism is like.  For adults, as well as siblings and friends of an autistic child, it can be very frustrating not understanding, and not knowing what to do or how to interact with the child.

It is important that children be given an explanation as why their autistic sibling or friend behaves the way they do, and what might be the best way to interact with them.

Some of the common behaviours that children may have trouble understanding about their autistic sibling or friend are such things as:

• An autistic child may have trouble talking and may make strange sounds, or they may not talk at all.
• They may flap their hands, spin, or laugh a lot.
• They may use inappropriate language or words in an inappropriate manner.
• They may behave or play in unusual ways.
• They may be very active or be very quiet and like to spend time alone.
• They may have trouble looking directly at you.
• They may say the same things over and over.

Some important points to discuss with children in relation to autism are as follows:

• Children with autism sometimes have a difficult time understanding what we say or what our facial and body expressions mean. You should not just stop trying to communicate with them because of this. Try showing them a picture or an object to help them understand things better. For example, if you are talking about a past event, show them a photo to help them understand your story.  If you are asking them a question about something, try and visually point out what you are asking about.
• Children with autism, like all people, can get frustrated and angry. The difference is most often they cannot tell us why they are frustrated or angry.  They may use actions instead of words to express their feelings.  Again, visual cues can be good to help them through a frustrating situation.
• A child with autism may make noises or spin around when he or she becomes upset, confused, or bored. When they are excited or happy they may flap their hands, jump up and down, or run in circles.  This is okay, as long as we understand what is happening.
• When surroundings or schedules change and/or things become different, many children with autism get upset. They may start to cry, hold their hands over their ears, run away or behave in other inappropriate ways. Children with autism cope best with routine.  It is a good idea to tell your autistic sibling or friend about a change before it happens, this means they can start to process the change in advance.
• No one knows why some people have autism. There may be many different causes. Researchers continue to study and try to find out just what the causes of autism are and how best to help people with autism.
• Kids with autism may be a member of your class or may be in a classroom that was set up especially for them. Some children with autism go to different schools; however, more and more children with autism today can go to regular schools and participate in after-school activities with classmates, friends and neighbours.
• Special arrangements may be used in classrooms to help a classmate with autism participate in the class. He or she may even have a special coach sit at their desk or table. He or she may use picture symbols to communicate with classmates and the teacher. There is special computer software that can “talk” for a child with autism. The absolute best way for you to deal with a classmate, a friend or sibling with autism is to remain “friendly.”
• Autism is not a disease that is contagious. Others cannot catch autism from a classmate, friend or sibling.

For children, becoming a friend to a child with autism can be a rewarding and learning experience for everyone involved. The following are some suggestions for supporting friendships with an autistic child:

• Accept the differences.
• Protect your friend from things that bother him or her.
• Talk to a child with autism in short sentences and use simple words with lots of gestures.
• Use pictures or write down what you want to say to your friend who has autism to help him or her understand you better.
• Join your friend who has autism in activities that interest him or her.
• Be patient and understand that your friend does not mean to bother you or others.
• Invite your friend who has autism to play with you and to join you in group activities - but don’t feel disappointed if they say no, they may just prefer to be by themselves.
• Sit near your friend who has autism, and help him or her do things if they want you to.
• Help other kids learn about autism by telling them about your friend.

Autism is still very misunderstood in society. By assisting children in understanding what autism is all about not only are we helping them, but there is sure to be a flow on effect to the adult population - and no doubt over time we will see generally a more understanding and accepting attitude towards people with autism.