Managing Autism - A Personal View

To our beautiful Jack,

May you bask in the sunshine of your uniqueness.

May you shine in the beauty of you.

May you always know of the blessings you bring to our lives.

We love you to the moon and stars and back… forever,

 Mum, Dad & Annie. xx

Today we celebrate Autism Awareness Day.

Today we embrace what autism means to us.

Today we look with hope to a future of understanding and acceptance.

Today we look forward with love.

Our son’s autism is not an illness or a disease…

It is simply a difference in the way he thinks, processes and responds to the world…

Who is not to argue that perhaps one day, our son’s way of seeing the world may become ‘normal’…

Today is the birth date of the revered Martin Luther King - a man who fought for acceptance and diversity… a man who saw the worth in all people, and fought for their freedom.

Today is a day to reflect on how far we have come in this world, in terms of acceptance and understanding.  Yes, the road we still have to travel will be long and difficult, but there is hope… King saw this hope, and we must too.

There is hope that one day the difference and diversity in our world will be accepted and understood, that all will be free from discrimination and judgement, that all will be equal… “free at last, free at last…”

I HAVE A DREAM

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May we honour diversity, may we honour all people’s worth…

As we look to begin 2008, it is an appropriate time to reflect on the year that has passed - the year that autism became a real part of our lives - and celebrate the wonderful memories that 2007 holds.

This was the year that we discovered Jack for who he really is - we have learned more about him, and about ourselves as a consequence.  2007 has been a huge year for personal growth, and for developing our family relationships.

This was a big year of relief - finding answers… and with this came plenty of tears as well as plenty of joy as we made our way through the emotional battlefield that comes as part of finding a diagnosis.

This was a year to learn about letting go - and to trust that with enough love, our children will find their way in life.

This was a year for courage, and for finding the strength to move forward.

This was a year for questions, and for simply being content that the answers were there.

This was a year for learning, knowing, and living autism - and discovering that labels don’t have any bearing on how much you can love your child… yes, we love autism completely and unconditionally.

This was the year where our lives were turned upside down, but where our lives started to make some sense.

And as the new year begins, we remember that this year, 2007, was most definitely a year to be grateful for.

Elissa & Steve

WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY AND JOY FILLED 2008 - MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

I read a fabulous article yesterday, titled “Courageous kids on film“.  It caught my attention because the first line of the article made a statement about it taking ’courage’ to face the world with Aspergers Syndrome.

The article then went on to outline the launch of a short film highlighting and celebrating the stories of children with the condition.  The film came as a result of a number of workshops that were held to investigate some of the challenges that Aspergers kids face.

I was delighted to think that such a film had been produced.  I have posted before about the need to highlight and celebrate the wonderful things about our kids with autism spectrum disorders, and this film is definitely a wonderful contribution to raising positive awareness in our society.

On that note, I’d like to share a story of Jack’s courage recently - not a big ground breaking moment for most kids, but for Jack, it was huge…

Jack had his final orientation day at school last week, in preparation for next year.  The first 2 orientation days had been really successful; they had been for around 2 hours a visit, and although there were a few challenging moments, Jack had coped really well with everything going on around him.

The evening before his final orientation day Steve and I had been to a meeting at the school for a final rundown on some of the details for next year.  During this meeting we discovered that although we had requested Jack be placed in a class with his Kinder friend, they had been placed in separate classes (a little boy who he had been very attached to during the ‘getting ready for school’ process, and whose presence we felt would help Jack make a smooth transition to school).  So the trip home for Steve and I was filled with anxiety as we contemplated how we would break the news.

Jack was devastated with news, as we had anticipated.  After the tantrum, and the ’hurt’ and ’sad’ tears, we had ‘angry’ tears, with the question asked continually ”why would they do this to me?”.  I struggled to fight the tears myself and for a while he just let me cuddle him to me like a baby.  He was scared, and I was feeling scared for him.  Steve (thank goodness he is very practical) managed to bring the focus back to the more positive things about the day to come, and finally we got him to sleep.

The next morning went quite quickly, getting ready for school.  We were finally ready to go when I discovered Jack had gone missing.  Annie and I searched the house, only to find him hiding under a table - the news had hit him again, and he didn’t want to go.  So we spent a while talking, and I convinced him that even though he wouldn’t be in the same room as his friend, it might be worth still giving school a go.  Ten minutes later and we were in the car, and off to school.

This is where Jack’s moment of courage comes in.  We arrived at the school, me feeling sick to the stomach with anxiety, and Jack quite subdued.  We got out of the car, and Jack turned to me and said, “It doesn’t matter Mum, it’ll be okay, I can play with …. at our break time”.  My eyes filled with tears under my sunglasses as he let me hug him.  At that moment I was very proud.  As I said above, not a ground breaking moment for most kids, but a huge moment of courage for Jack.

Elissa

PS - We would love to hear about other fabulous moments of ASD courage…..

Oh, and yes, Jack’s day went well - and he did seek out his friend at break time.

It seems a number of our fellow bloggers have been hitting the 100th post milestone lately - and today we join them!

And we thought the perfect way to mark the occasion would be with a lovely uplifting message titled “Mother’s View On Autism”

This video is simple and heartfelt - it is a mother’s message of love and acceptance.

Enjoy!

Elissa & Steve

PS - Spend some time today reflecting on the ‘brightness’ that a person with autism has brought to your life.

Jason McElwain autistic athlete

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If…….

(This was the last song recorded at Purple Pro Audio Studio in Leeds by Leeds Asperger Adults in 2006. The aim is to raise awareness of Asperger Syndrome in Leeds.)

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We found this great video the other day, and had to share it with you all.  We think it says so much about our beautiful kids - all they want and all they need!  Enjoy!

PS - We’d like to run a series of people’s favourite video’s raising awareness of autism.  If you have one or know of one (or more!!!), please copy the link into the comments for us (with a little explanation) and we will share it on our blog.

Our Son has Autism

He is:

A udacious

U nique

T enacious

I ndividual

S ensitive

M ethodical

He has a special place in this world

Autism often receives much negative ‘press’ (so to speak) so today we want to give gratitude for some of the wonderful things that autism has brought to our lives.

1. Autism has shown us a different view of the world, that we would never have otherwise had the opportunity to experience.
2. Autism has brought us closer together as a family - we have had to overcome struggles together, and learn different ways of communicating and developing with each other.
3. Autism has given us a greater understanding of some of the challenges faced by many people all over the world - we are definitely not alone!
4. Autism has given us the opportunity to develop a greater sense of tolerance, understanding and acceptance of others and ourselves.
5. Through having autism as a part of our lives we have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people and hear and learn about many wonderful things that others give to our world.

We are lucky to have autism in our lives.  We are not disregarding the fact that there are always challenges that come as part of the package, but who we are as people is so much richer because of it.

We came across this poem that seemed to fit our lives so well: