Managing Autism - A Personal View

Where would we be without Playstation?

Our Christmas celebrations have been hailed a success.  Much to the thanks of the trusty Playstation, and the DVD player - which kept Jack focussed and relaxed for the majority of the time!

(Jack and his cousin Oscar playing on Oscar’s Playstation) 

Learning from our experiences earlier this Holiday season, we deliberately planned to keep Christmas as ‘low key’ as possible.  And thankfully, all went pretty much to plan.  We kept gatherings as small as possible and planned for plenty of ‘quiet space’ for Jack to retreat to if needed.  We encountered a few hiccups socially (to be expected) but Jack coped really well overall.

When we think back to past years and how we battled the Holiday social scene with Jack, we are just so grateful for how much better things have been now that we are aware of his needs, and how best to allow for them.

Since Jack’s diagnosis of ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder’ was made, family gatherings have often provided perfect opportunities to talk casually about the condition, and for family members to learn a little more about it.

Whilst there are many schools of thought as to the cause of autism, we have always been of the belief that Jack’s condition is genetic; that it comes passed through the family - Jack is the first diagnosis that we know of, but there are certainly signs of aspergers traits that can be traced back through a number of family members.

Today we learned a little more about Jack’s great grandfather and some of the similarities between he and Jack.  Whilst the family history has little bearing on Jack’s daily life, in some ways it is comforting to hear these stories - at least we’re able to make some more connections to Jack’s condition.

So as we breathe a sigh of relief having made it through the major Holiday social gatherings, we’ll leave you with some photos - celebrating Christmas:

I have to say I’m a big fan of Donna Williams and the way she so generously shares her wonderful insights into the world of autism.

So I was delighted when I found her video, Autie Christmas Poem.

It brought both tears and laughter to our house - and we especially related to the line where “a guest has left the door unlocked and Jack’s about to bolt” - where she could have been talking about our Jack (we had an incident like this once at a Christmas gathering where a gate was left open!!!)

Enjoy!

Elissa

It’s Christmas Eve and our preparations for the coming 2 days celebrations with family are in full swing.  Thank goodness the shopping is done, and the presents are wrapped.  Now we have some time to enjoy each others company and reflect on all the blessings we are so lucky to have in our lives.

The kids are bubbling over with excitement, and we are doing our best to contain the craziness (we’ve got an afternoon of energy burning activities planned - lots of walking and running involved).

So to everyone, we wish you a wonderful Christmas (or holiday), and a happy and safe time for all.

xx

Here are some photos of the kids from this morning:

Annie finally convinced Jack to put on the Santa hat and stockings… (yes we did bribe him a little just so that he’d do it for her)… but they weren’t on long enough for a photo… no meltdown though!!! Yay!!!

We hope that you can take the opportunity over the next few days to spend some time with your kids, just being grateful for the wonderful people they are…

HAPPY CHRISTMAS and much love to you all!

Elissa, Steve, Jack & Annie.

xxx

Yesterday was a fabulous day - one of those days you remember for a long time, with the kids creating the most wonderful delights!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve found that I’ve been treated to some amazing surprises from Jack in terms of his development.  It’s funny, but sometimes I almost feel that his diagnosis of ‘autism spectrum disorder’ has strangely enough given him permission to shine in his own way (or maybe it’s just that Steve and I are viewing him through different eyes, and allowing him to simply ‘be’ who he really is?!?).

Well through the usual ups and downs of a typical day yesterday, Jack really showed me his ability to ’shine’.  It was a day for creating - and with materials that Jack loves.

Jack spent a lot of the morning in his bedroom, at his special table.  We call it his special table, because it’s the place he goes to ‘work’ when he needs some down time (usually when he’s heading towards a ‘meltdown’, or recovering from one!).  He also spends time at his special table before bed as the activity seems to be really calming on him.

Jack’s special table is home to some of his favourite animals and toys, including his Lego.  Quite a while ago we posted on “A Lego Breakthrough” which saw us going from Jack sitting and directing us as to what and how to build for him (not wanting to build with or manipulate the Lego himself) to actually constructing Lego creations himself.  So when Jack set himself up at his special table yesterday morning, it was a sure bet that he would be ‘working’ at his Lego constructions.  And work he did……….

When he finally allowed me in to his room to ’view’ his creations, I was totally blown away - especially when I stopped to think back to a couple of months ago, when ‘Lego play’ was an entirely different story.  I think the Helicopter was the piece that really made me stop in amazement - the detail was incredible, and ’shine’ it did!!

So with spirits high (and the kids starting to get a little wound up because it was too hot to play outside) I decided we would embark on some baking for the afternoon.  I had a fabulous Christmas Cookie recipe from Katherine over at GFCF Mommy (thanks Katherine!!!) that I had tried out previously on my own, but the kids were desperate to do some Christmas baking, so Cookies it would be.

Jack loves baking - I think it’s a combination of the methodical processes that we follow, and the ’sensory’ stuff (he loves using his hands when he can, and smelling both the ingredients and the finished product).  So as we prepared our cookie mixture, we had a few of the usual arguments over who would ‘measure’ and ‘tip’ what and who would mix, but all in all, it was an enjoyable time for us all.  And the results - delicious!!! (to say the least…)  I’m not sure that they will last past today (the kids keep finding reasons to ‘test’ them) but I guess that just gives us an excuse to bake some more!

So create we did, and what a memorable day it was…

….. yes, yesterday was really a day to SHINE!

Allyson over at Autism - A Blog on the Spectrum has tagged me for Christmas.  So here is my chance to share a bit more about myself and what I love about the festive season!  I also tag a few of my other blogging friends to share a little about themselves and Christmas:

Maizie at Maizie’s Blog

Maddy at Whitterer on Autism

and Jen at Find Out What Jen Finds

So ladies, it you can find some time over the coming days  - consider yourselves tagged for Christmas, and I look forward to reading your answers.  (Please then choose 3 or 4 friends to pass along to.)

“When people say ‘Christmas’ you immediately think…”

Family gatherings, carols by candlelight, fairy lights, and lots of yummy treats to enjoy.  I also think of happy time spent with the children watching Christmas lights, and enjoying the ‘magic’ of the season.

“Favourite Christmas memory…”

As a child, sitting by the Christmas Tree on Christmas Eve - basking in the joy of the occasion, watching candles flicker, and feeling like there was ‘magic’ in the air.

“Favourite Christmas song/carol…”

O Holy Night….. followed by any lovely renditions of the traditionals…

“Favourite Christmas movie…”

Definitely the “Polar Express” - the ‘magic’ of Christmas, ‘belief’ and learning to be the best we can really shines through in this lovely childrens movie - and the kids love it too!!

“Favourite Christmas character…”

I love Christmas angels (are these characters? - I think so!) - they are so beautiful and delicate and they have so much meaning to them, whilst still being fun.

“Favourite Christmas ornament/object…”

A Christmas Angel - could it be anything else?

“Plans for this Christmas…”

To spend some relaxing time with my beautiful family, enjoying the delights of the season, and reflecting on all the wonderful things we are so blessed with.

“Is Christmas your favourite holiday?”

Yes - by far it is the most magical - Christmas time allows us all to be children again!!!

Today we came to the end of one journey, as we looked ahead to the future, and the beginning of another journey.

Jack had his final day of Kindergarten today - a day that I had been anticipating with much trepidation.  Jack first walked through the Kindergarten doors almost 3 years ago now, beginning a journey that at the time we thought would involve 2 ’straight forward’ years of early learning and preparation for school.  Jack’s Kindergarten journey stretched to it’s 3rd year very early on, when the decision was made for him to spend 2 years in the ‘Junior Kinder’ group before moving to the ‘Preschool’ year (due to his ‘needs’ in the area of social and emotional development).  And when he crossed the threshold of the Kindergarten at the beginning of this year we had no idea of the learning curve we were about to embark on, or the challenges we were about to face.

We have made mention in previous posts of our journey to diagnosis, and this journey (taking place over the last 12 months - during Jack’s 3rd year of Kindergarten) was shared very closely with the Kindergarten staff - who for much of the time took the journey with us.  Jack’s teachers shared with us the highs and the lows of a really difficult time in our lives, and they supported us with every ounce they had to give, playing such a significant part in Jack’s growth and success over the last few months - giving him the love and care that he needed to become who he is today.

So I faced today with trepidation… today was the day that we would say goodbye… today was the day that we would step out of the Kindergarten looking to the future…

A ‘Christmas Concert’ had been planned to finish the day at Kindergarten today, and along with all the other parents, I arrived with camera in hand and a very proud smile to watch the singing and dramatic performances.  Jack was a delight, coping extremely well with all the activity, and even managed to take on a special role of ‘putting the toy lions in the cave’ during a singing performance.

The Concert finished with a visit from Santa (who had gifts for the children), and with the children presenting us (the parents) with handmade gifts, paintings and photo memory books of their time at Kindergarten.  It was a really lovely moment, and best of all, Jack was happy and relaxed, and really enjoying himself.

Before I knew it, departure time was upon us, and I prepared to say goodbye… knowing that today was the day that we would step out of the Kindergarten looking to the future… a future at school, and a future with new faces and new experiences…

Brushing the tears aside, there were hugs all around, and Jack even stood still long enough for ‘goodbye’ photos.  We will hold this year of Kindergarten very dear in our hearts.  It was the year that our world was turned upside down, but it was also the year that we discovered Jack, and the year that life began to make a little more sense.

And so we look forward… with the past in our hearts forever… thank you to the wonderful staff who helped us hold it all together… Jack will miss you… and we will miss you…

Jack standing outside Kindergarten as we left for home - saying goodbye and treasuring some wonderful memories!!!

Jack sitting with Santa, having received a gift at the Kindergarten Christmas Concert.

Posted by a Tearful Mum…

“Stick by rules and we can’t go wrong”….. famous last words…..

Last week was the Kindergarten Christmas Party - the much anticipated event of the year at the Preschool, and of course, Jack was excitedly anticipating it as much as any other child at the Preschool.

As many of you would remember from a recent post, we had made the decision this year to ‘re-structure’ our holiday social gatherings around the needs of an ‘autism spectrum disorder’ - translating to; be a little more ‘low key’ with our celebrations, and better plan and structure our outings.  However, with the Kindergarten Party being so high up on the ’social’ calendar for Jack, we relented on the ‘low key’ thing, and made the decision to face it head on.

So the afternoon of the Kindergarten Christmas Party arrives, and we sit down to review our plan for the occasion:

• We have been informed that Jack’s dietary needs (which are similar to some other children at the preschool) will be catered for, so we cross that off our list.
• We are very familiar with the layout of the Kindergarten yard (where the party will be held) so potential exit points are under control - cross this off the list.
• We have a schedule well organised - what time the party guests will arrive, what time food will be served, what time Santa will arrive, and what time we can leave - cross this off the list.
• We are familiar with many of the children at Kindergarten, so the guest list seems fairly manageable (as far as being a ’safe’ crowd) - cross this off the list.
• We have the yard marked out for supervision points - where we will position ourselves in order to have full view of every part of the yard so that if Jack is running (faster than we can keep up) we will still be able to fully supervise him and be by his side in a split second if needed, so we cross this off the list.
• Drinks and chairs are packed up next to Annie’s stroller (the preschool is within walking distance so we decide this will be a better option - takes out the extra issues that come with getting in and out of the car) and we are quietly confident all will go well.

Watching the clock closely, we plan our departure from home precisely to allow for the 5 minutes walking time to Kindergarten (allowing to arrive 15 minutes before the Party kicks off so that we can be settled in place before too many people arrive).

Sparing all the gory details of the Party, 1 1/2 hours later we arrived home, completely worn out and exhausted.  Have we learned our lesson?… hopefully yes (although how often do we forget again over time???).

According to Jack he had had a wonderful time at the party, but with the sensory overload of it all he had become totally hyper, had run nonstop to the point of causing himself nose-bleeds, and we had struggled to get any verbal instuctions though or have him make any form of eye contact.

We saw Santa briefly………. and did we eat?… well if you consider a sausage in bread (an Australian tradition to those of you wondering) on the run….. that was about it before we finally made our ‘well executed’ (considering the mayhem around us) exit, dragging 2 exhausted children home.

Now what was that about “low key”?….. famous last words!!!

Steve

Christmas and the holiday season is fast approaching, and with it comes parties, get togethers, and then even more parties!  Although Jack loves the idea of being very social, when it comes to being in an environment with lots of other people, and noise and excitement, he just doesn’t cope well (in fact, one on one social time is probably the best for him - assuming he’s in the right frame of mind!).  So with Christmas ‘on the horizon’, we are busy preparing ourselves with some strategies and tactics to get us through the crazy social time.

This year we have made the decision to re-structure our holiday social gatherings.  In the past (before the diagnosis) we struggled through parties and social occasions, fighting an uphill battle.  Only now do we realise that in the past we were simply setting Jack up for failure.  We were pushing him beyond his boundaries, and expecting too much of him (in terms of coping with the social frenzy).  This year will be a little more low key, with better planning and more structure to our outings and visits.  Fingers crossed all goes well!