Managing Autism - A Personal View

After a hectic first night, and visits from both kids during the night I finally have the feeling that I am getting on top of everything. I have the kitchen sparkling from the night before, living room now resembles a living room and not a rubbish tip - and the kids have settled down to breakfast with out even a wimper.

At this point I am quite pleased with myself… I have not had to call anyone yet (Elissa, other family, or even emergency services!) have managed to keep the house in a relative clean state with no major spills and most importantly of all the kids behaviour is leaning more towards good than evil!…. I can actually do this!!! A win for all the dads out there.

I knew it couldn’t last…………………………………

As the morning unfolded, I stuck to my cunning plan that would enable me to watch todays game with limited interuptions - run the little guys off their feet so that they were so exhausted that they would fall asleep, or at the very least sit quitely and play. (I know I was dreaming, but I was desperate!!)

We went to the pool, then the play centre, walked to the shops for some lunch ( they were tiring, but not giving up yet) back to the park and they finally decided that they wanted to go home - success!!!! and just in time because the game started in 1 hour.

Both Jack and Anna were being very quiet, and announced to me that they wanted to go to Jack’s room for some quiet games time. What a great idea I thought, and with my blessing the kids trotted off to play in Jack’s room. I turned the game on and settled in for the afternoon quite pleased with myself. About 5 min into the game, I got the munchies - went to the pantry to get the snacks and noticed that something was missing. After searching the entire cupboard, I thought the impossible must have occured…… I walk slowly down to Jacks room, still not quite believing that they could out smart me…… Yep, there they are blanket spread out and picnic in place playing beautifully - who wouldn’t be when your picnic consists of mars bars, jelly babies, and the worst of all an empty packet of cheezels!!!!!

Swear words enter my mind! I clear the food as fast as I can with Elissa’s words ringing in my ears, “Whatever you feed them, avoid cheezels at all costs, Jack will be swinging from the light fittings if he even smells them in the house.”

My attempt to return to the game - no chance… My idea of the kids having a quiet afternoon - disappears faster than I can clear the food from Jack’s bedroom floor… Damage control being the only option now with the effect of the cheezels already kicking in…

One more night…

Picture this…….. You start your journey home from a long and eventful day at work, fight with the Friday night traffic, make a few last minute phone calls to clients, and start to drift off into weekend mode - looking forward to winding down, de - stressing and enjoying time with your loving family (as well as catching up with some sport via the television).

Sounds great doesn’t it? - nothing abnormal there. At this point I should tell you that I am the proud dad of two beautiful kids, Anna who is nearly 3 and Jack who is nearly 6 and recently been diagnosed with Asperger’s.  I should also tell you that I am married to the modern day version of wonder woman, who organises and plans every aspect of the kids (and mine!) lives so that a resemblance of order is maintained every day.

Most of you (especially the ladies) are probably thinking - so what, this doesn’t sound any different to thousands of other homes, and you would be right…….. except this is no ordinary weekend! As I pull into the driveway, I notice that my wife’s car door is open, I walk over to shut it and notice the suitcase, hairdryer, makeup bag and other miscellaneous women’s stuff. Then it hits me (about the same time as my naked 5 year old is jumping into my arms to welcome me home) - this is the weekend I promised to look after the kids, and send my wife on a well deserved break! 

I start to panic….. can I really do this??….. who can I call in as back up??….. what are the emergency services numbers??….. and most importantly - how am I going to get to watch the game and what are we going to eat!?…..

To be continued ……….

Elissa usually posts on our blog, but today it’s ‘Dad’s’ view! 

“Dad, is it a stay at home day today?”

And so the day begins…

Yes, this is what I wake up to most mornings.  The same question, come rain, hail or shine - and the reason why Jack asks?  Well, regardless of my answer to this question it is always followed by the next:

“Dad, can you play Playstation with me?”

I live with a Playstation junkie.

For a long time Elissa refused to have any sort of computer / video games in the house.  She was a bit of a ‘purest’ so to speak, and believed that kids should be outside building cubby houses and digging in the sandpit.  Well, she still believes in her ideal, but when her parents presented Jack with the Playstation she finally caved in and agreed to allow it in to the house.

Since then, Jack hasn’t looked back (and Elissa even admits that at times it is her saviour in that it gives her half an hour of total peace and quiet when she needs it due to the fact that when Jack sits in front of it he is totally consumed by it).  He only has 3 games, but he knows them like the back of his hand, and in typical Aspie style, plays them over and over and over and over…….. well, you get the picture.

Unfortunately though, in the beginning, when Playstation was new to the house, I kind of ‘made a rod for my back’ so to speak.  Jack would become frustrated with the games because he couldn’t play them perfectly (yes, those Aspie traits again) and so I would sit with him in an effort to calm him down and help him work through the steps.  The problem now is that Jack associates the Playstation with ‘Dad sitting next to me’.  And that doesn’t neccesarily mean playing, but more commentating and ‘fixing’ his mistakes.

I should mention that when Jack asks the infamous ’Playstation’ question he asks it in multiples of about a dozen at a time.  No matter the reason I give him for not being able to sit with him at that moment I always then get the response “Oh, okay, but can you play Playstation with me?”  In fact, I can even be in the middle of a heated discussion with him about the reasons why he shouldn’t pull his sisters dolls body parts off and he will still manage to find a way to squeeze in the question.  One day I had the banter non stop for about 2 hours straight.  I finally threatened to throw the Playstation in the charity bin, and so he stopped asking, for about an hour - before starting up again!

Jack recently had a weekend away staying with his grandparents (yes, the ones that gave him the Playstation), taking the Playstation with him and spending the entire time in front of it.  Whilst at his grandparents he also had his Uncle Mike with him who is a fellow Playstation addict, and so the 2 of them battled over top scores, and together plotted their way through the more difficult parts of the games.  I’m planning on inviting Uncle Mike to come and stay for a few days to take over my role in the Playstation arena, and hopefully reprogram Jack’s morning wake up call to exclude the “Dad, can you play Playstation with me?”

Until then, I’ll keep rolling over and putting my head under the pillow…..

But that’s life with a Playstation Junkie!

Steve