Autism - Strategies a Way of Life
People often ask us the question, “how do you cope?” or “how do you do it?”
Usually they are referring to some issue relating to Jack’s autism spectrum disorder.
It’s funny, but our coping strategies for much of what we face have become such a normal everyday part of life that they no longer seem ‘a big deal’ or ‘autism related’.
Most parents have strategies in place to deal with challenges they face in relation to their child - this could be anything from difficult behaviours, to learning difficulties, to ’childhood fears’. Parents have methods in place to help their child manage life in the best way they can.
Parents of a child with autism are no different. Yes, many of the strategies may be more involved and specialised than those used for other children, and they may require more persistent use and focus, but overall they have the same purpose and are put in place for the same reasons - to help the child (and parent) manage life in the best way they can.
We often take for granted what we do on a daily basis. Occasionally we might overhear a parent describing a tantrum that their child threw in the middle of the supermarket - usually the parent is mortified and completely at a loss as to how to manage such behaviour. At these times we usually smile and reflect on how life evolves. It is not our intention to disregard this other parents distress at all, but tantrums have become so ’second nature’ that we don’t stop to think about them much now.
As parents we adapt to what life presents us. It’s only when we stop and look around us that we realise that everyone has challenges at different levels and that amazingly enough, the strategies that develop to manage and cope with these challenges simply become a way of life.
November 9th, 2007 at 10:49 am
They sure do!!!
And we dont always realise, and then you wonder why people are looking at you as you flap down the street with your child!!
November 9th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
Like you said, it becomes second nature. One thing that I’ve learned about Adrian that I think is sort of funny is when I put his jacket on the zipper MUST be up ALL the way and he MUST have his hood up. It’s something I don’t think twice about and my husband put his coat on one day without zipping it and he threw a fit and my husband didn’t understand why he was throwing the fit. I turned around, zipped his coat, put his hood up, and he was perfectly fine. It’s just little things like that that I don’t even think twice about.
It all become routine, no matter how strange or precise it must be.
November 10th, 2007 at 1:51 am
It gets to the stage where what other people think of as weird or strange we think of as normal!!!
November 10th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
I feel like I have learned to live life to avoid melt downs. Making sure we use the same toothpaste and put her to bedin the same way and on and on and on. Some days I do better than others. I will say it is all very tiring to me.