Just some thoughts… from a tired Mum
Okay so a good night’s sleep would be nice… in fact so nice I think it would be too good to be true if it really happened… I’m really tired and…
Another public meltdown yesterday, and I bore the brunt of it. Granted it wasn’t at the shopping centre, or in front of strangers…
It was in front of new friends, who were very understanding and really supportive…
…but still really hard to face people when it happens…
(Inside I scream - “Can I be someone else just for a day - I’d like to try a different job today -PLEEEASE!!!)
And to think all was going well to that point… What could I have done differently? What could I have done differently? What could I have done differently?
Maybe thrown my hands up in the air and said -”this is all too hard - I’m not dealing with your stuff any more!” No, that wouldn’t have helped at all - just created more chaos in fact. If social niceties are incomprehendable, a raving mad mother would most likely cause a total shutdown…
… and really I would never quit… I’m not here to quit - I’m here to love… totally, unconditionally… I know that more than anything…
Tears come too easily at the moment, and I know it’s just tiredness.
Sometimes I cry for my kids and for me…
I cry for them because I love them…
I cry that one day it might be easier…
… a break would be really good.
Maybe some annual leave? Mmm… shame this job doesn’t provide those benefits…
Some sleep would be nice, and some more strength, and some more patience… please God…
I’ll find it today 
January 5th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Hugs. Sleep is always helpful. Sometimes on the weekend when things were really bad Joe would let me nap and I would let him nap. We kind of did a four hours on, four hours off sort of schedule so we could both get sleep. I hope things get better soon. I admire you for trying the social gathering and not giving up. You are an inspiration.
January 5th, 2008 at 3:30 am
I’m hoping you get a good, restful weekend!
January 5th, 2008 at 3:43 am
I hope you get some sleep soon. It is so impossible to remain calm and do all the Mum stuff when you are tired. This heat can’t be helping.
January 5th, 2008 at 4:02 am
My heart goes out to you Elissa, I love my sleep and I know my personality changes if I don’t get my rest. I do know that there is a yoga pose you can practice (after you have been practicing for at least 6mths - 1 year) that if you stay in it for 20 mins it is equivelant to 3 hours sleep. There is also some other restorative yoga poses that only require 5 mins that could help boost your energy levels. LOL
Remember to breathe, breathe full, breathe deep, breathe well.
Notice in the times of your stress how you are breathing (usually it is very shallowly). Breathing deeply gives you energy and calms the mind for those not so calm moments. It may take a little practice before you find the benefits (like anything really) however the long term results are most beneficial.
www.breathingyoga-whitetara.blogspot.com
January 5th, 2008 at 8:16 am
With sleep we can just about cope with anything.
Hope you get some soon.
Im struggling at the moment, C only sleeps 4 hours a night. But i know he will be back at boarding school next week so i can de zombefi (is there such a word? See my brain has gone!)
January 5th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Hang in there Elissa! Those tough stretches just seem to go on forever, don’t they? Hope you get some ‘you’ time and some decent sleep really soon!
January 6th, 2008 at 12:13 am
ditto what everyone has said, PLUS remember to drink water and stay hydrated. It makes a huge difference for my tolerance levels.
January 6th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Hang in there Elissa. I think we’ve all been there…
January 6th, 2008 at 12:48 am
It sounds like mum needs a break. Hope you get some sleep soon. Yes, meltdowns are hard to manage and stressful. Your adorable new kitty should help. (I just saw your husband’s post with the great picture.) I’ve heard that animals in the house reduces stress. In the meantime hang in there and go back to better memories. Take care.
January 6th, 2008 at 1:22 am
Oh, I am so there with you. What are the chances you could check yourself into a hotel with a hot-tub just for one night? That’s what I’m hoping to do for my birthday. My “respite” is so limited, that I will take this “me” time guilt-free.
Being sleep deprived is such a strain on the emotions. Stay strong- you can do it. Every once in awhile, Jaysen will do something that makes my heart melt no matter how exhausted or at my wit’s end I am. Those moments are what rejuvenates me for a little while until I can get some real recovery.
My thoughts are with you!
~X~
January 6th, 2008 at 7:56 am
I completely understand where you’re coming from. My son, J, has a sleep pattern that goes in spurts. Weeks of sleeping through the nights. Then weeks of up and down or up at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. and no going back to bed, not even for a nap later.
It’s hard but we make it through. Hang in there.
January 8th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
I am fully aware and familiar with this feeling.
I send you encourgement and hope today.
I gets better….really.