Comments on: Sometimes life just feels too hard…

By: kristi

kristi — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:14:21 +0000

TC has been very aggressive too! And when we correct him, he throws awful tantruns, kicking the doors, hitting things, throwing things. Sometimes you feel so helpless.

By: Jen P

Jen P — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 01:19:56 +0000

I didn’t get to response to this when I was in Houston this week but have to tell you I woke up, read it on my phone, and shed a little tear for you. I’m glad now that school has started you’ve gotten some relief - that always helps. Sorry I’ve been so behind on your blog.

By: Marla

Marla — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 14:52:11 +0000

I kida feel like you do in this post right now. The best thing we found to deal with aggression was medication for M. It pretty much disappeared with the meds. I know some people don’t think that is the way to handle it but it worked for M.

By: Elissa

Elissa — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 10:02:25 +0000

Thank you to everyone for your comments - they have been a shining light in many ways…

Steve has taken over the posting for a day or two… I’m looking forward to being back on deck once things settle a little more here… I’ve just got to get through the start of school tomorrow…

By: LAA and Family

LAA and Family — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 04:37:42 +0000

Thanks for sharing these difficult thoughts and feelings Elissa. I hope that things will look better as you find help and continue working through this. Physical aggression is the one thing about my son’s autism that worries me. When he started with it 3 years ago, at the age of 6, I knew I had to do something about it. He’s a big boy now (80 lbs at age 9) and I’m sure he’ll be bigger than me by the time he’s 13 or 14 (his Dad is 6′5″ tall!). We’re really focusing on behavior strategies that help him control himself when he starts to get upset.

Good luck, you are doing the right thing to get help!

By: Lou

Lou — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:07:37 +0000

My heart goes out to you. I know and understand your pain. I hope and pray that you find someone who can help. Don’t stop looking until you do.

By: Julie L.

Julie L. — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 17:02:37 +0000

My heart goes out to you. There was a two-year period where my son would have a meltdown everyday during which he would rage for an hour or more. Finally we realized that a major trigger was transitions and if we communicated what was going to change ahead of time, we would usually avoid a meltdown. Also think our nine year old matured to the point he could be reasoned with a little better. In the meantime we made sure to inform him or at least try to inform him that hitting, biting, etc was unacceptable. Also wrote a social story about meltdowns (temper tantrums). It took awhile for info about certain behaviours to sink in though. It might not be a coincidence that I saw a counselor weekly around that same two-year period. Hang in there. You seem to be taking the right paths.

By: Katherine

Katherine — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:56:21 +0000

{{{{Elissa}}}} You are very brave and you are a wonderful mother. I have dark moments too, for different reasons, so I sort of know how you feel. You seem like such a peaceful person, by nature, so I am sure dealing with aggression is doubly hard.

I agree with childlife, these complicated feelings do tend to come back, but each time I think we get a little better at dealing with them. I am glad you are getting help for both of you. You need to take care of yourself too.

Katherine

By: Maddy

Maddy — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:55:20 +0000

I’ve no specific advice because they’re all so different, but we all know that our own attitude is pivotal so that’s going to make a huge difference, if only to you own ’sanity’ and state of well being.

Most of the aggression around here is of the self abuse kind but we have had bouts of lashing out, between each other and lots in my direction. The ’bouts’ can last several months. I think I would find it very hard if it was a permanent feature.

A pal of mine had similar issues. She chose a double route of medication and psycho- analysis as her son was highly verbal with a cognitive psychologist. For him, someone to ‘talk’ to made an incredible difference. I think he must have been about 7 at the time and the therapist was very doubtful as he’s never treated anyone so young.

Meanwhile, I wish you the strength to work it through.
Best wishes

By: tulipmom

tulipmom — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 14:58:37 +0000

I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time. I know how hard it can be to keep your anger in check when theirs is so rampant. I can only imagine how difficult and stressful it is to watch this aggession coming out and affecting another child … this is something that I’ve only worried about (plenty already).

You’re probably already familiar with this book but just in case not here’s a link http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Difficult-Moments-Practical/dp/0967251435

Sending hugs. I hope you can find some good help.