Comments on: “I Can Just Be Who I am”

By: Elissa

Elissa — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 20:25:34 +0000

LAA and Family - I definitely agree, blogging is so valuable for this!!!

fw2 - Yes, it does become a ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’ game - that’s for sure!

By: fw2

fw2 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 18:45:47 +0000

Coulda, woulda, shoulda….

Bet my list is longer than yours and times 2.

I will master one day not losing sleep over it at 3am…. yeah, right.

This week, my brain refuses to shut off the fact my little one has a crappy supply assistant at school….

Normal.

Sheri

By: LAA and Family

LAA and Family — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:24:33 +0000

Amen, it is easy to sink into and get mired in self-judgement. I think it’s easy for parents of special needs kids to do this because we can feel so alone. That’s why I value blogging with other moms of autistic children so much. We understand each other’s struggles and can appreciate each other’s achievements!

By: Elissa

Elissa — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 02:00:05 +0000

Thanks Joy xx

By: Joy

Joy — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:49:04 +0000

You are doing great, it’s a hard job that’s for sure. It’s hard enough being a parent in the first place let alone being a parent to a child with different needs and behaviors. I am extremely hard on myself and for some reason I like to make myself feel guilty over silly things. You do shine, hang in there.

By: Elissa

Elissa — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 22:21:51 +0000

misha_k - what a great attitude your therapist had, and what great advice… it is so true, those who are judgemental usually wouldn’t last a minute in our shoes… and yes, our kids have amazing potential…
Thanks xx

By: misha_k

misha_k — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:47:37 +0000

We all have our moments when we self-judge but when our children give us their unconditional love in their own special way we know we’re doing okay. The short time I’ve been reading your blog I can tell you’re a great mom.

One thing a therapist helped me learn to do when it came to the people who judge me. I take their preconceived notions and turn it around into a strength. I tell myself now let them pass judgment. I know those who look down their noses at me wouldn’t last a minute in my shoes. They wouldn’t have the strenght or resolve to. This same therapist also taught me people may judge my son but someday he’s going to show them what he can really do and when he does they’ll end up looking like fools. I miss working with that therapist. She was fantastic.

By: Elissa

Elissa — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:31:30 +0000

Tulipmom - we do give so much credit to other people but then tend to forget about the hard work that we do ourselves… and our work is around the clock!!!

Thanks Lou, and thanks Kristi - both of you are very right!

I think sometimes because what we do is so different to what many parents do, that when you get one person who perhaps questions or gives unwanted advice, it’s enough to completely throw you off course - well, that’s how I feel at times anyway.
xx

By: kristi

kristi — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 17:18:47 +0000

Yes, it is very hard! My sister has made some comments to me and it hurt me deeply. I am glad you got some time away, we all need that from time to time.

By: Lou

Lou — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:48:22 +0000

It is hard, sometimes, to keep the proper balance going - that balance between self-confidence and self-loathing. Too much of that balance is affected by the opinions and actions of others, especially others who have no idea what your realities are on a day by day basis.

Keep your chin up, kid. You’re a great Mum.

Lou