Comments on: Parenting the Best Way We Can

By: M

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 16:02:14 +0000

Very wise to remember.

By: fw2

fw2 — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 13:43:20 +0000

I’m probably luckier in that we live in a village and we’ve never hidden the boys. They go to the restaurant with us - and do really well, in a couple of hours we’re going to the Santa Claus parade - eldest is in it with his Scout troop, Scouts, library program etc.

Plus, I have this really nifty - your problem, not mine - streak. IMO it works both ways… I teach them proper social skills (or try) and those that visit help. I don’t allow hitting/biting etc of me or others by them.

Those that want to cast stones, not socialize with us… there’s other’s that do. B/c my house runs normally. The same rules of behaviour apply - there may be flapping and vocal noises by the little one - same foods served, same table manners expected, potty mouth gets you time out, same rules of personal space… flip out in a store/restaurant and we leave whether you like it or not. Destroy something and it gets taken away and not replaced.

It’s not always perfect, but my friends also help when they come. A couple of them have babysat for me - like yesterday during the P/T interview day so I could go to an appt. They socialize with the boys, play toys with everyone…. looks the same as the next person’s house.

Now.. if only the little one would toilet train… sigh…..

By: Elissa

Elissa — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 03:52:40 +0000

Thanks Casdok!

Jen P - I’m amazed, but I guess I shouldn’t be by now!!

fw2 - we certainly raise as ‘normal’ here too - we find for ourselves that the problem is with what the outside world sees and ‘perceives’.

Marla - makes sense completely!!!
We have had many experiences where people find it all too hard to deal with (doesn’t make it any easier on us though!).

Joy - we have had similarly embarassing moments (the naked thing especially). Jack went through a stage where he liked to get down on the ground and bark like a dog whenever we had visitors show up - quite confronting to some people!

By: Joy

Joy — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 22:51:55 +0000

I have never been very social but one day a friend of mine stopped by unexpectedly and of course Adrian was naked, my first little hint of embarrassment and then he was in her daughter’s face screaming at the top of his lungs and flapping his hands. He was just excited to see them but her two year old looked terrified. I felt bad and wished she hadn’t come. There are hard moments, that’s for sure.

By: Maizie

Maizie — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 15:05:54 +0000

Oh, I so know what you are talking about here! What a great post. You really hit the nail on the head. Friendships are very hard to maintain. I find it getting difficult too as Maizie gets older and her litte friends begin to pass her developmentally. I have a feeling that is going to be very difficult for me to deal with. Will she keep playing with my friends children and how will my friends continue to incorporate Maizie and me into their lives. I have noticed all ready that some slowly fade away. This is natural in friendships anyway. But, as a mother with a special child I know when it is just too much for antoher parent to deal with. Does that makes sense?

By: fw2

fw2 — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:13:42 +0000

I raise mine “normally”. IMO autism may be the reason, but it’s not an excuse. Society has rules and those rules are to be followed. First thing my kids ever learnt was the word “No”. LONG before they ever got dx’d.

http://farmwifetwo.blogspot.com/2007/10/on-fence.html

I think working WITH the ASD is important.. saying “well they have ASD so it’s OK” does them no favours.

http://farmwifetwo.blogspot.com/2007/12/parental-gloat-moment.html
http://farmwifetwo.blogspot.com/2007/12/report-card-season.html

Seems to be working so far.

By: Jen P

Jen P — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 11:53:07 +0000

Thanks for the backlink. You know I’ve been surprised in the number of people who have experience with autism who still don’t “get it.” I even have one mom who child has autistic disorder who reminds me that I got the “good” diagnosis with “just” Aspergers.

By: Casdok

Casdok — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 08:36:59 +0000

Well said!!