Comments on: Personal Space

By: Elissa

Elissa — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 02:10:55 +0000

Thanks to everyone for your great suggestions!!!

Casdok and mommy-dearest - looks like the space thing is at the other extreme for both of you (mommy-dearest, we understand about the “fists of fury” - plenty of those moments too in our house).

Jen P - It’s hard to pick those moments - it’s really one extreme or the other!

Maizie (Marla) hopefully there is something here that helps you too!

fw2 - We’ve decided we’ll talk to his teacher about working out a system that we can put into place both at home and for school next year, maybe this will help!

Kim - we are definitely going to try the diagram and pictures on the poster board (off to get some poster paper today!).

By: Kim

Kim — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 00:21:22 +0000

My son who has Aspergers use to touch everyone until I did the following activity with him. I took a large piece of poster board and drew two circles and had them to overlap in the middle. I put pictures of him, his dad, and me in one circle. In the part that overlapped I put pictures of other family members to show that they are part of our circle and he may hug them. In the other part of the circle that didn’t overlap the family circle I put pictures of strangers cut out of magazines. I explained that they are not part of our family circle, so we don’t touch them. He immediately stopped and this hasn’t been a problem since.

By: mommy~dearest

mommy~dearest — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 21:58:45 +0000

We don’t have the hugging problem either. If Jaysen is getting in your personal space, it’s usually accompanied by “fists of fury”, and you should prepare for battle.

By: fw2

fw2 — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 20:21:33 +0000

My eldest dislikes having his space invaded but has no qualms about invading someone elses - on his terms only. This is an issue at school. He gets better about it daily. This year FINALLY his social/behavioural issues are taking a front spot, not a back spot in his education. OK, that’s b/c education wise he’s holding his own so they can deal with these issues, plus, for some reason they think Gr 3 is where they should push it.

I just keep talking to him, removing him from other people’s space. Telling others to please ask him to move from their personal space unless he asks permission to invade it.

The school and our family/friends are helping us with this. I hope to put him in a social/behavioural evening program. Right now the age appropriate group is too far away. Only the older kids are close. It’s a daycamp style class - fun - for an hour/wk.

By: Maizie

Maizie — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:45:13 +0000

What a great post. We still struggle with this. When we took Maizie to The Cleveland Clinic the doctor said that even though they know very little about people with her specific chromosome disorder, it is very common for people with these disorders to be very endearing and show affection to strangers. Maizie also shows more interest in adults than children. She seeks out hugs and approval from adults. This can be a good thing but also, as most parents in these situations know…it can be dangerous. I too would like advice in this area. It is a constant struggle to explain to her what is appropriate and what is not. It is also difficult when so many people love Maizie’s enthusiastic greetings and hugs.

By: Jen P

Jen P — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 13:09:55 +0000

“Keeps Hands and Feet to himself” is one of those The Elder gets “Hard” marks on! Yet, like you said, on his own terms. If I go hug him without warning he is quick to yell “Get off me!” Then silence, and then you can hear my little heart break. =o)

By: Casdok

Casdok — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 08:05:46 +0000

I dont have the hugging problem with C. He loves his own space.